Bright Eyed. Bushy Tailed.

Happy Tuesday!

Hope you had a great holiday weekend!

We had a blast! A party in Greeley where I saw some old friends and a man I worked for 12 years ago that could end up being the death of me someday. If I die of lung cancer from second hand smoke...I want you guys to track him down and kick his butt. Viv has his picture.

Yesterday we went bowling and today I can't walk. I really hate bowling. I have to drink beer when I'm bowling or I lose my mind with boredom. Keith can't drink right now because of some medication he's on. I decided that it's be cheaper to order a pitcher. I'm all about saving money...plus Keith signed us up for TWO HOURS.

They asked if I was going to be the only one drinking the beer. I said yes...that's why I ordered a Diet Coke for my designated driver. They made me promise to have Keith drink some of the beer or they couldn't sell it to me. He drank a half a glass....just so we wouldn't get *in trouble*.

I don't think a cop would buy our story...do you?

Tiny Pitcher

I have a lovely guest post on The Rookie Foodie today! Please go show her some love! Thanks.

I Love This Girl

Time To Party!

This makes me so sad.....since we aren't allowed to grill anymore. DAMN YOU APARTMENT RULES!

The Weiss Family has been invited to a Memorial Day party.

WOOT!

I'm making iKeith be my Designated Driver!

What You Missed....

Every now and again....a catch up post is needed because stuff happened that didn't make it into a blog post.

Laundry Room Update:

This week....there has been a crew here rebuilding the basement and laundry room.  They found asbestes so there has also been a hazmat crew here. Good Times....

Squirrels...Everywhere:

Have you ever noticed that when you don't like something...you see it everywhere?

Squirrel Concealer

If this concealer is made from dead squirrels....I'll buy it!

When I'm 64:

I've discovered that when I'm old....I'm going to be that lady that yells at kids that are on her lawn.  I'm already one step away from Gladys Kravtiz.  Some kid stuck a gogurt container in the grill of my SUV and they trapsed their muddy feet around in front of my apartment.  I wanted to buy this sign...but iKeith wouldn't let me.

Kindergarten:

Last week....Alex had an evaluation for Kindergarten.  This charter school is serious business!  Wednesday we had an appointment with the Kindergarten Team to find out how he did. I discovered that being home schooled by Nick Jr isn't really working out for us.  If you want to know more about how this meeting went....email me at Connie@youngandrelentless.com for the full story. I should have known that his day was going to go wrong for me.  First I dropped a carton of eggs on the floor, then the cantaloupe was rotten.  Last straw....as we left the school. I broke my sunglasses.

On the way home, I made iKeith stop at the liquor store by our house.  They know me there now.  I seem to always feel obligated to tell him why I'm buying a four bottle of wine.  I'm sure he loves my excuses.  I explained that my son was starting Kindergarten in the fall and I'm stressed out.  He advised me to switch to boxed wine in August....and he asked me if I knew my glasses where broken.

What I Did When I Should Have Been In Austin:

I was supposed to go to Austin last weekend.  I really wanted to go but finances didn't allow it.  I had a genius plan to sell my Canon Rebel to my bother in law Robert.  He's rolling in dough and always borrowing my camera when he travels.  He said he wanted to buy it....and then said he couldn't afford it. There went my plans.  I was really bummed! Lesson Learned: Even a gay man will not buy the cow when the milk is free.

I was in Austin in spirit and the ladies were nice enough to text and tweet me the entire weekend.  We sent funny pictures and videos back and forth and it was almost like I was there.  Here is a sample.



Friday night....one of the ladies (IA) tweeted me her phone number.  Sunday....I discovered that she had accidentally sent me the wrong number.  In the meantime, I sent ALL OF THOSE VIDEOS to some stranger.  When I started inquiring as to WHERE he was...he finally informed me that his name was TOM and that he didn't know me.

To see a video of really happened in Austin visit Becca's blog, and you could also win a prize.  You will even see a picture of ME in the video (i'm wearing a mask). And if you like her video and want her to make one for you...she does that too.

Amber Made Me Do It.

MAN!  I suck at peer pressure.  I have NO willpower.  NONE.

Amber made me watch The Bachelorette.

I was bored on a rainy afternoon on Tuesday and I have the ability to watch ABC shows on a app on my iPad.

I was only going to watch the first part....when the guys come out of the limo.

Then this tall drink of water got out.

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Then there was the guy wearing a mask.....and apparently he wears it indefinitely, even on the toilet.  In fact...ABC has this as his picture.

This guy...is the reason I'm still watching.  He is mourning the death of his one true love who died after having a seizure in the bathtub.  I swear I just watched this story on dateline the other night and the guy was GUILTY of killing his wife.  This has just turned into a murder mystery and Ashley needs to watch her back in the hottub.

What Shawn Must Know Wednesday

I'm linking up with Shawn, Impulsive Addict, Janette and Mamarazzi again this week....even though I have two other posts sitting here itching to be written.  I have priorities!

This week the questions are from Shawn and they feel urgent.  She MUST know, what I MUST do.  Cue my guitar solo.




1.} What must you do before you go to bed at night?
I must wash, polish and moisturize my face.  I'm 40 now so my skin care routine is very important to me.  I also must read for at least 30 minutes.  If I don't....I just lay there.  Sleep will not come.

2.} What is one thing you must snack on at the theater?
This is a new must for me.  I used to eat popcorn or m&m's but ever since the time a year and a half ago when I was on the Hcg diet and I ate Raisinettes and didn't gain weight....I must get them. Raisinettes are magic.

3.} Before going on vacation what must you do?
I must do the dishes.  This isn't because I'm an OCD housecleaner.  This is because one time when I had TWO babies....we were getting ready for a trip and I left a couple dishes in the sink because I was tired as heck and iKeith yelled at me for leaving them in there the entire time.

4.} What is one thing you must do every day?
I must drink a cup of coffee.  And I must listen to this song and this song and this song.

5.} Is there something you do that must be done in a particular order?
I must put my underwear on before my pants.


*Songs...in case you don't have time to brighten your day.

If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickleback
You're Gonna Miss This by Trace Adkins
Whole Wide World by Mindy Gledhill

What I'm Watching This Summer

It's no secret that I love watching TV.  I'm always a little bummed in mid-May when all of my favorite shows go away for a couple months.  Grey's Anatomy...I will miss you!  Thank goodness I still have 7 episodes of Friday Night Lights to keep me company.  There are some shows that I'm not going to waste my time on this summer (Bachelorette...I'm looking at you) and will instead go to movies (ALONE), take evening walks with my family and drink wine read in bed.

Here are the shows that I will be watching:


Love Bites on NBC, starting June 2nd stars Constance Zimmer (Entourage), Greg Grunberg (from Heroes) and Becki Newton (Ugly Betty).  It features modern stories of love, sex and marriage and the first episode guest stars Jennifer Love Hewit

The Real Housewives of New Jersey on Bravo...if you hurry and catch up on the two episodes (2nd one aired last night) that have aired....then you will have the perfect trashy reality TV for your summer.  This season there are two new cast members that are causing trouble.  Melissa Gorga is Teresa's sister in law and they don't get along. Kathy Wakile is Teresa's cousin and they don't get along.  It's like my house only Italian!!

Rocco's Dinner Party on Bravo....begins June 15th.  Each week three competing chefs prepare the perfect dinner party for Rocco DiSpirito and his celebrity guests.  One chef walks away with a cash prize.  If you love throwing dinner parties like I do...you won't want to miss this show!

Expedition Impossible: Morocco on ABC....begins June 21st.  13 teams of 3 will do the extraordinary, solving problems and competing in the biggest adventures of their lives.  It's kind of like Survivor meets The Amazing Race.

Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family...begins June 14th.  This one I watch online because I don't get this channel but I don't mind because I love it!  I know it's for teenagers.  I know 40 years shouldn't be watching it but.....I can't help myself!


Other shows that I probably won't be watching but you might like:

Monday
America's Got Talent (NBC) starts May 31st
Switched At Birth (ABC Family)  starts June 6th
Bachelor Pad (ABC) starts August 8th
Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition (ABC) starts May 30th

Tuesday
Expedition Impossible (SBC) starts June 21st
The Hot Zone (ABC) starts June 21st
Hell's Kitchen (FOX) starts July 19th
 
Thursday
So You Think You Can Dance (FOX) starts May 26th
Wipe Out (ABC) starts June 16th
101 Ways to Leave a Game Show (ABC)

Sunday
The Marriage Ref (NBC) starts June 26

What Are You Doing With Your Time?

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.

J.R.R. Tolkien

Love In The Wild

I was watching TV the other night and I saw a commercial for Love in The Wild (be careful googling that) that will be airing on NBC soon. It's an adventure dating series set in Costa Rica and it begins on June 1st.

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The cast consists of 10 single men and 10 single women, who will pair up and complete quests that include paddling down crocodile-ridden waters and navigating bat infested caves. The couple that wins the quest....gets to stay in a the fantasuite 5 star accommodations. There will then be an elimination ceremony where the couples decide if they made a connection or if they want to switch partners. Two people go home each week. At the end....one couple is left standing and they win each other....but no money.

The show is hosted by Darren McMullen and he's quoted as saying, 'Life in a relationship isn't all limos and champagne dinners.  The show puts people in stressful situations to see if they can work together as a team.'

I've got a news flash for Darren (and the producers of this ridiculous show)....real relationships also don't include Costa Rica, zip lines and 5 star accommodations.


If they really want to put relationships to the ultimate test, I've got a few suggestions.

pick a movie to watch together.

stalk each other on social media. 

grocery shop together and prepare a meal.

attend an ex's wedding. 

go on a fishing trip with a grumpy older couple.

make a budget.

go through the process of finding a pretend house to buy.

take a small child to dinner at a nice restaurant. 

go through the process of buying the pretend house.

attend Kindergarten Registration. 

make their car break down on the freeway.

replace a hot water heater.

go on a camping trip with a grumpy older couple with a drinking problem. 

put together a child's toy.

put a squirrel in their laundry room. 

do homework with a 7 year old. 

stand in line at the mall with a 2 year old to visit Santa. 

survive a medical emergency.

plan a funeral. 
put together furniture (suggested by Meaghan at The Twenties Roar)  
clean up a child's vomit/pee/poo (suggested by Sturgmom, In General)  

If they can complete these tasks....then I think they might make a relationship work, or they would definitely want to switch partners.  The Bachelor has been doing these adventure dates for a while now and I don't like them.  They aren't realistic and I don't like seeming dumb girls running around the jungle in high heels and full make-up.

I'm going to take a pass on this show NBC.

Now....If you would have combined a dating show with Wipe-Out....I would have been all over it.

Random Questions from Mamarazzi: LOST edition

Thank goodness for Mamarazzi, Shawn, Impulsive Addict and Janette this week. I have a post that I'm working on...but I'm feeling lazy this week with all of the freakin rain and grey clouds. I don't feel like doing anything! Let's see what Mamarazzi wants to know....


{1} If you could choose a Super Power, what would it be?

I would want to have the super powers of Firestar. The ability to generate intense heat and flames. I would use these to vanquish my enemies and unfreeze people. Plus...I'd look smokin hot with red hair.

{2} What would be your first frivolous purchase if you were awarded a million dollars, tomorrow?

 I'm having a hard time coming up with a frivolous purchase....I'm not a frivolous person.  I like to be practical.  Okay....I would go buy the most expensive, well-made pair of black knee high boots. And then I'd get calf surgery so that I could wear them.

Jimmy Choo $965

{3} What would be the hardest current luxury for you to give up?

 I don't have a lot of luxury's in my life right now.  At this point my Cuisinart Single Brew System falls under this catagory because of the amount of money I spent on K Cups. How does one go back to brewed in a filter coffee?  I'm a Princess* and I deserve the best coffee on the planet.

{4} If you were given a choice between being given great wisdom and great wealth, which would you choose?

Being poor sucks ass.  I believe I'm wise beyond my years because of the tough times I've been though.  I'd rather be stupid and rich...like Paris Hilton.  Give me great wealth baby!

{5} If you were to be stranded on a deserted island for 100 days what 5 THINGS would you pack?

 Do I know beforehand that I'm going to be stranded? If so, I'd bring the following things.

1. 50 lbs Ground Coffee
2. A French Press
3. A case of chocolate
4. A case Box of wine
5. Duct Tape



*Princess Connie, Duchess of Bull*hit

Friends and Flowers

I have a couple friends that have been with me for a really long time.  They knew me when I was newly married to a different guy, had long blonde spiral permed hair and drove a pickup truck.  Yes...I might have been a redneck!

Oh how I've changed!

Before I moved to Utah....we had a long standing May Date, usually right after Mother's Day.  We'd meet in Longmont (a halfway point) have a long breakfast, catch up on each other's lives and then spend a couple of hours at a local nursery picking out flowers for our yards.

I'm missed these outings so much and I missed my friends more.

Saturday we were reunited!

We had breakfast at an adorable little restaurant that is in an old house just off from the downtown area.  It's called Lucile's Creole Cafe, the food was so good and it made me want to visit New Orleans very soon! Mallory and I scored some beads and we didn't even have to do anything naughty to get them. Click HERE to see what I ate.

We had a great time at the nursery and Mallory was in heaven!  She loved looking at and touching every plant and made me read all of the tags to her.  If there was a bench...she sat on it.  Twice!  We picked some flowers to plant and our color scheme is purple, yellow, orange and pink!  And we bought three kinds of basil.

Mallory tricked Anne into carrying her all around the nursery by telling her that she was about to pass out!  She is suck a trickster!  Anne, of course didn't mind because she has two boys and always wanted a daughter, and people kept asking her if Mallory was her kid.  They do look alike...don't you think? 

We planted our flowers yesterday and I don't think I've seen my kids more excited to watch something grow!  

For The Last Time!

I feel like a broken record.

Every two months (almost like clockwork)....there is major drama in my life and I think seriously about stepping away from my blog.

I'm here to tell you (for the last time) that I'm not going anywhere.  This is the last time that you will hear me threatening to quit because of someone trying to silence me.

If I quit....it will be because it's finally time for me to move on or my kids are too old to blog about.  I don't see this happening for a while.

I'm feeling pretty hopeful that this drama is completely over and won't be causing me any more pain and stress.

I mean really....we've beat this dead horse and my husband has defended me so many times that I can't imagine anyone inventing more lies and half truths about me.  Poor Keith has had to say the same things so many times that I advised him to just make up a form letter to be sent out when he gets emails from a certain email address.  It's gotten that ridiculous.

I've asked my friend, Jesus.....to please take this burden from me.  I live my  life in truth and love.  Or love and light, if you're a Real Housewife of New Jersey fan and there is no room in it for toxic people.  I have a very important job to do....be a mom, a wife and I'm am enough just the way I am (and I look damn good in a hat).

And if people don't like it....they can suck it.

THANK YOU to my dear friends that advised me over the last few days and told me all of the things I needed to hear.  I love you guys! 

Joy

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are. 

~ Marianne Williamson

All That Matters

THIS......is all that matters.

Scenes From an Apartment: The Newsletter

I got the May installment of my apartment complex newsletter today and there was so much great information in it that I thought I should share it with you.

Highlights:

• Happy Mother's Day!
• If you smoke (DON) please, please don't leave your still smoldering butts on the ground.  They are unsightly to Connie other residents and are a fire hazard.
• All children must stop throwing rocks at other children.
• All children must stop fighting with other children.  The cops will be called.  
• All children must stay out of the uncovered pool while they work on it. 
• All children must stop vandalizing the candy machine.
• Please (DON) stop smoking in the playground area and starting small fires in the wood chips.
• Please stop feeding the squirrels.  They have been damaging the property and causing inconvenience to Connie some of our residents. THE HELL YOU SAY!
• It is against West Metro Fire rules to operate a BBQ on your patio.  You must remove all propane tanks immediately and store them off the premise.
• The community yard sale will be May 21-22.  

Soooo....I started looking for a new apartment this afternoon. The final straw....no grilling on my patio. I grill at least twice a week. AND I just bought some really awesome kabob skewers at Sur La Table.

The good news is that there wasn't ANY mention of dog poop this time.

Not Doing Anything

Who am I kidding?

I need to go to the bank and get quarters for the squirrel free laundry.
I need to mail some kick ass shoes to Macey and some LOVE to Becca.
I need to return some books to the library.
I need to work on letters and writing names with the kids. (6 days til Kindergarten Pre-Screening)
I need to make a healthy dinner for my husband.

The Gift of Motherhood

 Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.  ~Marcel Proust

I had a great Mother's Day!  If you get Martha Stewart Magazine, then you know that there was a little booklet in last month's issue that said  TOP SECRET! MOM DON'T READ THIS.  It was a idea book that you were to hand to your children/spouse so that they could get ideas for making Mother's Day Special.  What a great idea Martha!  Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Foot Soak: 1/4 cup Chamomile Epson Salts, 10 mint leaves, 4 rosemary springs and warm water.

Yogurt: 1 cup plain yogurt and 1/2 cup honey, serve with fresh berries and melon.

I can tell you that I felt like a princess!  iKeith took the kids into the bedroom for an hour an a half so I could watch Eat, Pray, Love (and dream about going to Italy) without interruption!

I'm so lucky and blessed to have a great husband and sweet children. I feel like I've been given this amazing gift....each day I unwrap it and bask in the joy of raising my kids.  Thank you iKeith for making my day so special!

What did you do for Mother's Day?

Happy Saturday

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
by Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise all over again,
 

I'd build self esteem first, and the house later.
 

I'd fingerpaint more, and point the finger less.
 

I would do less correcting and more connecting.
 

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
 

I would care to know less and know to care more.
 

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
 

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
 

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
 

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
 

I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often.
 

I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
 

I'd model less about the love of power,
 

And more about the power of love.

Are You There God...It's Me, Connie

I wrote the beginning of this post last week after the Jesus incident and it probably would have sat in draft if it wasn't for the post my friend Vivienne wrote yesterday. I've been praying about a church for the kids and I to attend and this just made my search all the more important. If you've been a reader of my blog recently, you know that I believe in miracles. God is good!



We were sitting in the drive thru at McDonald's after an eventful trip to story time at the library* when Alex told me that Daddy said I can't drink wine anymore. (for the record, he denies telling them this.)

I informed him that I can drink as much wine as I can want and that I can do this because Jesus loves me.  He balked at this and I told him that Jesus turned water into wine and therefore, Jesus is a big fan.  (I even tried to convince the Mormon's of this once.)

Jesus has been a big topic lately since I threw that out there during the Easter Egg Hunt and then made them watch a Veggie Tales Movie about Easter.  It occurred to me that they don't know about Jesus....because we don't go to church.

On the way home....questions about Jesus, Heaven and Heck all came up.  I tried to explain it as best I could but now the kids are afraid of dying and definitely don't want to go to Heck because there isn't a McDonald's there.

That was NOT a lie.  I'm sure that Satan hasn't built one. 

I think it's time for us to find a church...if nothing else, for the hour of free babysitting.

******************

Story time.  The kids have a bad habit of shouting stuff out to the librarian while she's reading a book to them.  This week I encouraged them to wait until she was finished to add comments.  I also encouraged them to raise their hands.

Mallory hung back instead of being right in front of the teacher like she normal is.  I don't think she knew what to do with this information.

After the counting book about hammers, Alex informed the librarian that his Daddy has a lot of hammers and that his name is Keith.  She was very impressed.

Next there was a song about pancakes, fruit, waffles and whipped cream!  Alex excitedly told her that his Daddy lets him have as much whipped cream in his coffee as he wants!  She looked alarmed.

While all of this was going on....Mallory was mad because Alex kept getting in front of her in the back row and she couldn't see the book.  She would look at me and YELL that she was mad.  All of the mother's were laughing at with me.

She was also having issues because there was a BABY in the library.  She doesn't like babies because they have big butts and they cry a lot.

Baby...I don't see no stinkin Baby!

**Since I wrote this....Mallory has changed her mind about babies because she saw someone on TV pushing one on a swing and she would now like a baby to push on a swing.  She also announced to everyone at the park yesterday that I'm going to poop out a baby for her to push on a swing.**

P.S. I have some new readers from Brigham Young University!  Welcome!

Random Questions from Impulsive Addict

 It's Want to Know Wednesday and Impulsive Addict is the keeper of the questions this week!  Impulsive Addict is super nosey and I suspect that she really wants to be my BFF.  She leaves the best comments and emails me all the time with witty responses to my comments.

 Ready?  Okay!

If money didn't matter, where would your perfect vacation take place? Briefly describe.

I would vacation in Italy with some friends (i'd leave my husband at home with the kids because he has no desire to leave the country).  I'd eat orgasm pizza (ala Eat Pray Love) and drink a ton of wine, bread and cheese.

What's a bad habit that you have (or had) that is/was hard to break?

I'm a hair twirler.  I've done it since I was a baby and I can't stop.  I've cut my hair short to prevent it and I still find a way to do it.  I do it when I'm bored, nervous, scared and happy.

If you weren't on a diet or counting calories, what would you like to have for dinner tonight?

iKeith and I are on a diet that we just started on Sunday.  If we have a free meal, I would either have Mexican food and a Margarita or Sushi and a bottle of Saki.

If you had the chance to interview anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would it be and what's one question that you would ask?

I think I would interview Martha Stewart or Oprah.  I love both of them and they've both been a HUGE influence on my life.  I would ask Martha for tips about organizing my desk and preparing for the paper chase that's about to start when Alex begins school in 3 months and 13 days.  I would ask Oprah what she eats and to take me on a trip with her.

Describe yourself in 6 words. 

Passionate, Loving, Judgemental, Persistent, Pessimistic, Happy.

So Friends....give me one word you would use to describe me.  That was the toughest question for me! 

May VLOG: What's in a Name and My Purse

Emmy Mom @ One Day at a Time wants to know...Is there a name I can't stand and why? And along with this do you like my own name.

Shawn and Mamarazzi want to know what I think about the following items.

Ocean or Mountains?

Sweet or Salty?

Early Bird or Night Owl?

Edward or Jacob?

Book or Kindle?

Manicure or Pedicure?

MAC or PC?

Show and Tell from Beth at Living a Goddess Life wants to know what's in my purse.

By the way....it is ALSO Jen Lancaster Day.  I'm super excited to go buy her newest book and I'm wearing pearls in my video in her honor!

When Your Lazy Eye is Bored

You may remember that Alex got glasses back in January because he couldn't see well...and he has a lazy eye.  Last week it was time to return to the eye doctor to check his progress.  He's doing better but not good enough so they told me that I have to patch his eye for 3 hours a day until July. His good eye is doing all of the work so we have to re-train his brain to use his other eye.

UGH!

We immediately went to the pharmacy at Super Target and I asked about the patches.  She told me that they sell some that are like a bandaid but that they can irritate the skin.  Then she told me that her daughter has to wear a patch and that she bought a felt re-usable one from Patch Pals!

I ran home, found their website and almost cried with joy!  They have a bunch of cute designs for the front of the patch and they were only $10 a piece.  Alex picked out the one he wanted and we ordered it.

It arrived in two days!!

Now the hard work.  He has to wear it for 3 hours a day and he can't watch TV while he's wearing it....he has to play, or draw....concentrate on something.  So far, he's doing great and has been working on some pre-school apps on my iPad and building with his legos.

Isn't he cute in his patch?

My silly boy informed me that his eye isn't lazy....it's just bored.

And he's ready for some football! 

Go Broncos!

*disclaimer* I was not paid by Patch Pals for my post or given a patch.  I just want other parents to know about this great product that is making our life easier.